064: almost 9 months later

I’m pregnant, and business as usual

Portrait of me taken by Jess Tran, a photographer whom I greatly admire. I feel grateful to be included in her Viet Kieu project, which is about Vietnamese people outside of Vietnam.

The due date is January 1, and we don’t know the gender of the baby – surprises are too rare these days. I’m working with Cosmos Midwifery, who was recommended to me by an incredible artist I was lucky to meet (Alisa Bones, whose exemplary solo exhibition Entities recently ended at forecast). Midwives Jenna and Chloe have been so wonderful in supporting me throughout the journey. When Chloe noticed I was a bit mentally strapped the other day, she reminded me of the power of kindness towards myself since I am “creating another being out of my own flesh.” Hardcore. I feel seen with them, since I am not (yet!) often around other people who have experienced pregnancy themselves.

I haven’t had many changes (that I know of) due to the pregnancy, save for two things: I now always desire cold water, due to an increase in blood flow and body temperature, and the tiny baby hairs in front of my face have turned curly (???). As a result, it looks like I’m constantly sweaty……..

Selfie from M+B’s wedding; not hot or sweaty, just pregnant. Wearing archive Miu Miu, picked up from Benthos World – lovely showroom specializing in archival vintage.

… it’s fine. The biggest struggle I’ve had in pregnancy is what to wear. You know me – the daily ritual of dressing is a key outlet for expression ✨ That is, until your body changes beyond your control and you have to give up what you once knew. Gone is my allegiance to high-waisted trousers. Instead, I’ve had this Silk Laundry dress on repeat every other day (this Fibonacci version is too good). My go-to shoes have been these Kiko Kostadinov x at.kollektive Saida mules that I bought on a whim in Marseille at Jogging (also love the mules in steel grey), as well as a pair of vintage Merrell mary-janes. Somehow, we make it work.

Pregnancy outfit formula: Long dress, comfy shoes, some top to layer over.

Now that we’ve gotten that obvious life detail out of the way, I can get on to what I really spend all my time thinking about: forecast, the small business I co-founded! It’s been such a huge year of learning. In many ways, this business is a dream-come-true for me: working in fashion in a way that feels authentic to my perspective, and at a scale that feels meaningful and fulfilling. I’m doing a lot of things I was interested in from the outset, including operations, creative, and co-curation around what goes in the store. There’s a lot of areas I want to keep growing in and learn, but I have patience and confidence in myself to find out. As any small business owner knows, running a business is complex and difficult, even though it’s also rewarding. Most of all, I’m proud that we hit our one year anniversary in September. It’s important to celebrate the wins.

What does life look like now?

Well, every day is different, but every week is mostly the same – alternating between team meetings, freelance design work, working the shop, and spending time with my loved ones. I wish I set aside more time for personal projects like tinatalk, but alas. We’re at a sweet moment in time before life changes dramatically. I’m blessed I can see it coming.

I’m also connecting with more Vietnamese creatives, which has been an inner hope and desire I’ve had since taking the Ancestry and Me class at SFPC in 2021. The Vietnamese community here is small, but the more people I meet, the more heartened I become that raising a child on the East Coast could still have some of the familiar culture I loved growing up in LA/OC. Here’s a quote that friend and facilitator Zainab Aliyu recently shared with me from an interview I did with her back then.

I was born in Pasadena, California, which is the rich part of East Los Angeles. My mom lived in Pasadena a bit when she went to community college after immigrating to California as a refugee from Vietnam. She and my dad moved to San Gabriel eventually, but I’m sure it never escaped her that the hospital care in Pasadena was more reliable. 3,000 miles away in Brooklyn, my New York-native fiance and I have conversations about where our future children will go to school. Within this question are possibilities around where we’ll settle down (or at least spend nine months out of the year together). Isn’t regularity good for children? We haven’t been able to determine a location without casualties. My creeping suspicion is that this first child will be born in New York via a home birth that is either in the city or a town just outside. It’s painful to admit that this is not what I believe my parents hoped for. I know this because when I call them, my parents ask when I will come back. Leaving your hometown by choice is unfathomable to those run out by force.

Whew. Heavy. That said, married life has been so so good to me. I have a deep knowing of love right now :)

I should mention that my fitness routine has wound down quite a bit though… whoops! My CrossFit (CF) gym closed in May, and between that and traveling, I switched over to ClassPass to alternate between yoga and CF drop-ins. But these days, I need the sleep more than the exertion. I am interested in doing a postpartum CF program… stay tuned, let’s hope I get there.

Currently

Let’s wrap this up. Here’s what I’m into lately…

• My friend C mentioned the meal service CookUnity to me, which is very interesting seeing as how I’ve struggled to get dinner ready before 10 pm some nights. I also hate food waste and live with a partner who likes variety. Seems like a good fit… I’ll let you know if I start. Here’s her referral link, in case you want to get ahead of me.

• Honestly…. even though this baby coming, most of the time I’m still thinking about the business! I’m enjoying reading business books and listening to podcasts, getting inspired and talking shop with other entrepreneurs. I’m super happy to get to do this. I feel fortunate and grateful to learn. Some that I’ve been into: Liz Tran’s The Karma of Success, and Small Giants, by Bo Burlingham. If you have recs you think I’d like, send them my way and let’s gush about it together. It’s always better with a friend.

• Black and navy is feeling super chic and timeless to me lately. I’m drawn to different materials (leather, velvet, silk as you know) so layering it all still feels unique and textural. On a recent trip I went on, I almost exclusively packed some form of black and white and some navy and red. You don’t need more than that!

  • *Since writing this tinatalk almost 2 months ago, I’ve also developed an affinity for the combo of blue and orange. Opposites! Fun!

• I told myself I would get a facial before my wedding, and here I am almost two years later without any facial to speak of. When will this happen! I think I’d like to experiment with an extraction. Alternatively, I coulddd use my Classpass points on a prenatal massage, which sounds right up my alley.

• Notable movie I saw recently: The Loneliest Planet. This is my kind of movie. Beautiful soundtrack and setting, character studies… a slow, quiet film that says a lot with a little.

• Music I’m into lately: Ok don’t judge but I really like listening to this meditation channel Inner Lotus Music. That’s really all I need. Otherwise, I discovered the 2023 album ‘To Be a Cloud’ by The Saxophones the other day – super dreamy. And I was pleasantly surprised by the Majid Jordan album ‘Good People / Afterhours’

• Finally, I’ve tried a lash lift recently, and it was not bad. I’m interested in trying out an eyelash serum, to make the results go further. I’m also on the hunt for the perfect matte quad eyeshadow palette – currently debating between Makeup Forever’s ‘Anywhere Caffeine’ mini palette, and NARS’s Koh Rong mini palette (I like the cooler tones more).

A new year is approaching. I’m thinking of you.

Always,

Tina